Attraction Distraction

You know when you think "i just need to lick me some ear"?

Whether it's Ronny Turiaf creating somesort of fanfare on the New York Knicks bench, or Craig Bellamy starting a fight with himself for no apparent reason, I have always had a fascination with watching obscure or irrelavent events or player as a sporting event goes on. It's possible that this is because I have become bored with the actual sporting events themselves. However more often than not, it's that I have crossed the line from being 'in to' a game to being literally 'in' a game. Years of analysing NBA games and Premier League football games (Let's get this straight, I will always refer to the English use of football as FOOTBALL. End of.) has lead to my noticing of 'obscure' or at least overly specific areas of a game.

Here are a few of sport's attractions within attractions that you simply love to watch/hear/experience:

Ray Allen off the ball
It's a game within a game. Simple as that. In the NBA it takes more than being an excellent and well drilled shooter to make shots. Defensive rotation and reaction in the NBA is a BIG step up from college. Next time you watch a Boston Celtics game, forget about Paul Pierce getting iso upon iso on the wing, blur everything else out and focus on Jesus Shuttlesworth playing mouse to the opposing team's cat; coming off different screens; changing direction or speed. It's a joy to watch. The term 'The art of shooting' is thrown around very loosely; the fact of the matter is that shooting is what comes naturally to Ray Allen. Moving off the ball, busting a gut knowing full well you may not receive the ball, is an art in itself. This man currently has 2,602 reason why he is the master of the art. (NOTE:What are even more impressive are his calf muscles. They are like American Footballs.)

Football Crowds
This isn't exclusively visual, but how funny are football crowds? Football support obviously has connotations of immense passion and devotion, some of these leading to violent and irresponsible actions (different post for a different day yadayadayada). Anyway, aside from the fiery rivalries and emotional attachment which makes football the 'peoples sport' it seems to be, matchday 'banter' always grabs my attention. The songs are great. Rubbing salt into an opponent's wound with a rendition "2-0 and you fucked it up" or Liverpool fans  a few years ago serenading Peter Crouch with "He's big, he's red, his feet stick out the bed, Peter Crouuuch". In fact, whoever comments or tweets @TheBallBlog with the most amusing sports chant or banner will win a Kit Kat Chunky.

The People who just don't want to be there..
Without intending to make a comment that could be interpreted as sexist or otherwise, this section is almost entirely reserved for women and children (Don't complain, you got straight off the Titanic. And don't try and say you were more deserving than Rose or Jack, don't you dare.). One of the greatest advancements in the last 10-20 years is the participation and attendance of women in football. It's great and should be embraced, but men out there DO NOT MAKE YOUR WIFE WATCH SPORT. It's cruel and unusual punishment for someone who dislikes it and most of all, if you are watching a sport with any kind of rules, you will spend 75% of the time explaining them. The same goes for children. Yes, I'm sure we all have this fantastic image of kids in the '60s lining up on the terraces to watch matches and growing up idolising their weekend heroes but in the UK kids are statistically more likely to want play a musical instrument than watch football. Don't force it. The final member of this group is the most despised and unwelcome in most sporting circles. The corporate ticket holder.. Most noticeable at the All England Championships at Wimbledon, these people seem to be sun starved, uninterested and in need of some sleep catch-up. They don't like sport. They may not even like being outside. It's not clear whether they understand why they are at Wimbledon. They seem baffled when they hear no commentary so insist on giving their own uneducated version. These people occupy the best seats in the house when honest hardworking people, lets say bloggers, have to sit next to a 19 stone French man on the hottest day of the year. Shame on you.

Well, that's it for the first post. Feel free to chime in with your opinions either on blogger or via Twitter (@TheBallBlog).

Word to the wise. Personalised basketball shoes had better mean you average 20PPG or there will be hell to pay.